January is heaven’s revenge on December.
Hmmmm.
Some, doubtless of a more Catholic bent, would wager that December is paradise, January is purgatory and February is That Other Place. It certainly feels like it when temps hit the upper 30s. Indeed, Upington undergoes a name change to Downington and Wellington is now called Hellington.
Hotazel’s name remains unchanged, as a retirement destination for ANC politicians.
Even the germs in Germiston are packing their bags and leaving (to Germ-many, for they be many).
Phew. Global warming is real, ek sê.
So, there you are, hiding in the Woollies Food Section, waiting for February to be declared persona non grata and given 72 hours to leave the country. You can hardly wait for March to arrive. Thank goodness this isn’t a leap year.
But you have no choice. You have to leave soon. For one, there’s no bathroom. For another, you forgot your (original) Woollies bag (aka My Money Bag) in the car. But there’s another reason why you have to leave: Valentine’s Day. Red-hot romance cannot flourish in sub-zero temps (or can it?).
We may have a solution for you. No, we don’t offer Portapotties nor Woollies bags, but we can help you spread the love without leaving the comfort of the WFS. We have some sweet deals you can order online and have delivered to your honey. If necessary, we can even add a note, explaining your absence from the Valentine’s dinner table.
So what’s on special this week?
We haz honey…
Real honey, not the sugar sweetened syrupy stuff being peddled in retail stores.
If it does not crystallise when it gets cold, it’s not raw honey.
Keep it raw and honest this year.
We have…
Acacia honey
Light in colour, with a distinctive, sweet scent.
Aloe honey
Somewhat bitter in taste, it is often used medicinally to soothe a sore throat or help heal an open wound.
Blue Gum honey (two types)
Straight-forward, no frills. It works well as a condiment, but also great for soothing a sore throat or rasping cough.
Citrus / Orange blossom honey
Everyone’s favourite honey, with a delicate citrus fragrance.
Fynbos honey
Dark yet lovely. From the heart of the Garden Route to your heart. A floral bouquet with many wild nuances.
Macadamia blossom honey
This honey actually leaves nutty hints on your tongue.
Strawberry honey
Pink in colour and when you open it, the smell of strawberries in the summer sun greets you. Once you’ve tasted it, you will always come back for more.
White honey
A premium blend of light coloured honeys
And if all this choice makes you indecisive, we have two special gift boxes on offer:
Gift box 1
Three bottles of honey with a hand-crafted wooden honey dipper in an attractive box set.
Pear, Macadamia and Blue Gum honey
Gift box 2
Three bottles of honey with that amazing hand-crafted wooden dipper in an attractive box set.
The nature of the three honeys are a mystery for you to discover!
To your (sweet) health!
The Team at Integrow Health
